Exercise

Well, that's an unpopular post title.  But that is exactly what I have been doing since I started that Game On! diet.  I will not be bested by the PTA moms!  So, I have been faithfully on my elliptical every night this week.  The first night was alright.  The second night was killer.  The third night was ridiculous and I was positive that this crack pot diet business was going to kill me.  By tonight (a good 6 days into the game) I actually was eager to get on the machine....  I know, it stunned me too.

After all of my body's initial protesting, I found I was actually craving the movement.  I had forgotten what it felt like to push myself - granted there is a whole lot more of me these days to push - but in the end I felt accomplishment.  My sore muscles are a sign to me that I did something good for me, not a warning to never do such an idiotic thing again.  You know what this means?  Crap!  It means I should keep exercising.

I am only going to mention as a P.S. here that I used to (as in way way long ago) run a minimum of 3 miles daily just to feel normal.  As I began to know myself better and ultimately get a diagnosis of ADHD I realized that this exercise in my high-school years is what kept me focused.  The times I did best in school were when I was running and playing at least one other sport.  Perhaps my rekindled love affair with exercise will also help me regain my brain.  Hey, it's worth a shot.  I'll let you know how that goes.  I am also wondering if exercise will help me keep my house clean and do all my unfinished projects too.  Asking too much?

The letter

My paternal grandmother was nothing short of a Renaissance woman. She was athletic, playing golf (and usually beating the men - pre-Women's PGA) and bowling. She was a great cook. She was a gifted artist, usually trying one medium after another, brilliant in whatever she attempted. I still keep a knitted blanket made by her on rocking chair in my room. She sewed, painted china, made dolls, and ultimately she sculpted, a craft that allowed us to finally really know her.

About the time I was in middle school my sisters and I started going to grandma's house for craft hour. We would paint pre-made figurines and she would fire them in her kiln. As we got older we started working with clay and making our own sculptures. Her sculptures were clearly more refined than ours but she had a gift for making us feel like we were brilliant artists as well. We would drink fruit punch, eat frozen pound cake, and she would listen to our stories. I can still picture her hands and her wrists - always wearing a bracelet. They were not unlike my own wrists - not skinny, like my sister's.

At some point during this time Grandma started experiencing health problems - mysterious symptoms that put her through test after test after test. The final miserable reality was that Grandma had ALS - better known as Lou Gehrig's disease. Tuesdays With Morrie paints a vivid picture of what dying from ALS is like. Though her body began to fail her, her mind was still in tact. Within, what I remember as about two years from the onset of symptoms, she was gone. Poof. I was sixteen. She was sixty two.

Today, nearly fifteen years later, cleaning my room and going through an old journal, I happened upon an envelope addressed in script to "Sarah". Deep breath. The letter.

My Dear Sarah,
My first perfect granddaughter. How I've loved you from the first day of your life. I'm so proud of you. You have given me so much joy.

Keep on enjoying your art and your sports. The more things you have fun doing the better life is.

I'll be going away on a trip but will be with you always.

Love you,
Grandma Bette

Her handwriting was already labored by the time she wrote this. It was her only means of communication at that point. Her voice was gone and her face couldn't show any expression. Her written words move me to tears to this day. If only everyone had the forethought or time to write a letter like this.

The grief is still there. The pain is still real. We lost her too young. But lately I have been thinking of her - and reading the letter again heals me a little more.

For my other incredible grandmother see here.

Dog Febreze

Last night after writing about my poop head dog, I posted on facebook the question, "Can you Febreze a dog?" I got many responses on that topic so I am thinking that this must be a common need. Is there such a product? One of my FB friends thought there was something on the market already. (If so, I am buying it immediately, if not sooner.) Others had good suggestions, "Just try a small tester area first. Lol like you do on furniture."Excellent suggestion. Here's another, "I think you can febreeze anything, right???" I also liked this one, though not related to dogs, "Delvin wanted to febreze Patrick in the beginning b/c he was scared of bathing him." Patrick is their 3 month old child.

One of my blogging friends who has four legged children as well thinks, "NO." But my cousin who works for the vet admitted that she does this "all the time." Still in a quandary, I sought the help of ye ole' Mr. Google. So far, so good. Snopes said the email that circulated about 10 years ago about Febreze being harmful to pets was false. ASPA claims that it should not harm the animal. Good Dog! magazine reports that the formula was tested and the evidence suggests that it is safe for use around animals. I found several other personal blogs that have posts written on febrezing their dogs. Apparently all dogs are still healthy and smell decidedly more fresh.

I don't doubt the effectiveness of Febreze. If that stuff could take the "Chili's Funk" out of my clothes when I used to waitress there in college, then it can take any odor away. I am not sure if "Chili's Funk" and "barn poop head" are equal, but something's got to give here. Perhaps I will do as my friend suggests and just try a little tester area first... Then I am going to market a new product, "Furbreze." I am a genius.

Poop Head

The dog smells like poop. Not just any poop - nostril offending"barn-like" poop. That's what our 12 y.o. friend told us this evening. I totally washed her last night due to the odor. She smelled better for at least 24 hours and then smell that induces my gag reflex was back. Mostly her head stinks - which is the worst because where do you pet a dog? On her poop head.

P.S. Don't judge me on my white balance -I am relearning all that photography stuff.

What if?

What if someone came to your house and literally looked in every cupboard, every closet, every drawer, your medicine cabinet, your pantry, your refrigerator, your garage, your backyard, each kid's room, even the attic, and saw all your stuff? Worried? Hiding something?

We were lucky enough to have this experience today. You want to know what's even better, today was just a practice run, someone else comes next week to do this again. Thankfully today's inspector was the director of our foster agency coming to do a once over before CPS licensing comes to do a spot check on us. The woman was very graceful about my complete mess of a house, but that did not take away the shame I was feeling as I opened the door to yet another disaster of a room/closet/bathroom. I promised her that we would have the clean fairies come before CPS actually got here. She gently agreed that would be a good idea.

I know that opening every closet door shouldn't make me shudder with embarrassment. I realize that most people put their Christmas decorations away before Valentine's Day - I am just not one of those people. I openly (not proudly) admit that. So, how's a person to change? After 30 years of being a slob could I suddenly become tidy? Should a I pray for a miracle?

I will say one thing, the woman opened my fabric closet and was very impressed. Yes, people, I have one organized closet in my whole house. It's my secret clean spot that I can go when I am overwhelmed by 6 people's stinky laundry, undone dishes in the sink flowing out onto the counter, piles of shed dog hair in the corners of all rooms, I can hide in my fabric. Bliss...

Game On!

At some point this year I woke up to the reality that everything in Texas really is bigger and this includes me, apparently. In the last two and a half years of living in Texas I have gained approximately 20ish pounds. At this rate I could be the size of Texas by next year. (Incidentally I also recently discovered that I am actually 5'3.5" instead of the 5'2" I always believed myself to be but that is an entirely different tall tale.) I am not sure about where those pesky pounds came from but the reality is setting in - I am in my 30's and sporting a super unattractive muffin top. Not cool.

Disgusted with my size and down about my energy level, I was complaining to a parent visiting me in my office where I am a school nurse. I know that sounds backwards, the nurse complaining to the parent about health issues, but this happens to be one of the coolest parents ever. I totally adore her. She is super cute (but not annoyingly skinny) and has the most fabulous kids. She is totally "real" and one of my favorite things about her is that her kids often have that rolled out of bed hairstyle that my kids usually go to school with. It's comforting. We were talking about how we won't allow the kids to take pictures of us because of the inevitable double chin effect (though the reality is that we each are sporting an extra roll between our actual chins and our necks). After we had sufficiently covered that topic we moved on to more pressing issues such as the muffin top we can't seem to ignore any longer. This is when she introduced me to The Game On Diet.

People, this is what I have been waiting for! A game, for points, with my friends, about healthy habits, for 4 weeks only, on teams, and the winner gets a huge prize! I LOVE COMPETITION! Seriously, my husband jokes with me because even stuffing the Christmas cards can be a competition for me. Apparently, this friend explained, the PTA moms were getting this contest together based on this book by the head writer for Grey's Anatomy, Krista Vernoff, and Fitness Guru, Az Ferguson. Its all about "kicking your friend's butt while shrinking your own". She challenged me to join them for a prize of some serious cash money. And when PTA moms challenge the school nurse, GAME ON!

Now, as if I needed any more motivation, my dear husband used a picture of me from pre-TX days as his I heart Faces entry this week. No double chin there. And if you even think I am going to post a post-TX picture of me right here, you have another think coming. Seriously. It's that bad. So here we go, PTA moms, beware!

I Heart Faces Challenge #3: We are Family

I have loved watching Brian enter this weekly challenge photo contest. He has earned Honorable Mention for one of his photos. Since we were going through photos for his entry this week and we came across and awesome shot that I realized I took, I thought I would take a turn. This is one of my favorites of my daughter with my grandma. There is an 80 year difference between the two - the oldest and the youngest of our family. They were sitting together at the head of the table for our Easter Dinner. This is my picture of family - spanning 4 generations of spit fire women!